When I ask you to listen and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you think you have to do something to solve my problems, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen, all I asked was that you listen, not talk or do – just hear me.
Advice is cheap if unsolicited and usually not a solution that is good for me.
And I can do for myself. I am not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and weakness.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling. And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them.
Perhaps that’s why prayer works, sometimes for some people, because God is mute, and doesn’t give advice or try to fix things. God just listens and lets you work it out for yourself.
So please listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn. Then I will listen to you. (Author Anonymous)